We all fear something. We encounter something fearful everyday. And fear limits the way our lives are meant to be lived: fearfully.
How can one ask a farmer not to expect when he has worked too hard for the surplus? How can one ask a student not to hope for good grades if he has studied well all semester? How can one ask a investor not to expect decent return? With hope and expectations, comes fear. Fear is natural. It's inevitable.
"Fear is nothing but the product of thoughts we create."
Everybody has their own version of fear and hence definition of fear differs with demographics. A seven year old may fear spiders, a 18 year old teen may have a stage fear or an adult working in an MNC may have fear of career failure.
Out of all, these are the most profound fears we have:
- Fear of failure
- Fear of losing someone or something
- Fear of not-being-good-enough
- Fear of rejection
- Fear of missing out (FOMO)
- Fear of what lies in the future
- Fear of uncertainity
But, you have total control over your mind and thoughts. Nobody else other than you define the things you fear. Your fears have the power to hold you back from doing what you love, what matters most to you, what is important to you, what you desire to do, what you have been putting off for days, weeks or even years. It eventually stops you from living and enjoying your life to the optimum as you should be by stealing your peace and happiness.
Whatever your fear may be, you can either authorize these self-created-fears-of-yours stop you from living your life to the fullest or you can take on them one by one and live a more bold and braver life cherishing every moment. I recommend going with the latter one.
What should you do?
- Be strong: You have to be strong. It is a must. There is no other way to this. There cannot be a should. You have to say to yourself repeatedly all day long out loud, "I can do this. I must do it. I will not fear you." I do this all the time and vouch for this as it is extremely helpful in any situation you can imagine of. Trust me.
- Make a list of the things you fear: I made my own and named it as "Black Chart". Start with the small things you fear like spider or heights or darkness and then step down to the big ones. Highlight the important fears which you think need the most of your efforts to be put upon.
- Face them - one at a time: Take on the fears from your things-you-fear list one by one. Start with small fears. Work on them. Analyze why you have that fear. Ask yourself if you really need to be afraid of it. Is that thing a necessity for your happy living? Mostly the answer will be a negative. For example, if you have fear you might miss out on important notifications or news feed if you don't log in to your facebook account try asking yourself if you really need to check shitty updates from people whom you don't know or people who don't care about you. Does it really matter what are they doing with their lives? Instead why not focus on your life and try making the best of it. You yourself create and decide your life priorities, goals and needs. You can make or break any of it any second. It's all up in the mind. Move on to next step if the answer is otherwise.
- Suppress them and move on: This is the "action" step. If you don't execute this, you will always fear your fears. Once identified try to fight your fears. Suppress them. Simply say, "I will not fear you!" For the above case, you can limit your logins into facebook. Say no to shitty updates and unnecessary distractions for a more fearless and happier life. You will not die. I didn't. In fact I reduced my social networking footprints and am still alive, writing this post! And to be very frank, you have no reason to be afraid of anything. You can also seek help from your family members, friends, peers or even me!
- Do things you have been putting off til now: Time to do things you have been not doing because of the fears you had. Fears that have been holding you back.
- Shatter every boundary: You know no limits. No boundaries. It's just you and your fears. No one in between. And in the end it will only be you living a more braver and happier life.
- Claim things which are rightfully yours: Haven't got what you deserved? What you thought should be yours? Success, Love, Fame, Money, Happiness. You name it. And your fears always stopped you? Huh! Kick them out.
- Achieve the goals you have been setting offside: Had a long list to-dos which you haven't struck out? Wanted to start a learning class? But didn't do because you feared that you won't get enough admissions. Wanted to pass an interview? But feared rejection. It is time now.
- Make your dreams come true which you have been wishing for: Don't just dream. Get out and make them come true. You have nothing to fear about.
Go, grab things. Especially those you fear the most in the first place. Think how wonderful your life would be if you didn't fear what you do. Once you overcome one of your fears, you will be more confident than before in everything that you do afterwards. You will start to feel this energy of accomplishment; the energy you get after overcoming an obstacle. Cherish that feeling. Hold it for it will compel you to achieve the unachievable. And go for the next in the-things-you-fear list.
Let me know what you fear and how you overcame it.