What My Boss Taught Me Before Leaving the Organization | The Secret to Achieve Anything

Some things we don’t want to do or plan for in the first place, but it happens anyway. Similarly, I never thought I would be working in the advertising industry – and here I am, having completed my first work anniversary at Exponential Interactive recently.

In the past eighteen months, I have learned a lot and grown more so. Credit goes to my manager, Chandra. He taught me a lot of things – but one of the most important and useful stuff was how to achieve anything by setting up goals.

Before I knew about it, I wondered how big businesses are built. How successful people lay plans and achieve what they want to. I used to think there had to be a genie behind all of this – some kind of high-level strategist.

Turns out it’s no rocket science, there is no secret. It is actually pretty simple: convert and break your goal statements/objectives into numbers. What it means is turning your objective statements into actionable sub-goals which you can track and make efforts accordingly.

Key here is to make things quantifiable because you know, making mere statements like, “I want to save more money” for instance (or put your own life goal here) doesn’t work practically. You would want to see yourself making progress towards your goal.

Let me give you a quick example. One of my work responsibilities is to acquire ad inventory for spending ad budgets we secure for our publishers. At times, we get more ad bookings than what was earlier expected. My job is to support demand with adequate supply. For this to happen, we need to know the exact demand and inventory requirement. We set goals for this – we put numbers in place.

For instance, we serve 1.5 BN ad impressions every quarter in a particular market and say it needs to be increased by 50%, i.e. 2.25 BN per quarter. That means 750 MN per month (2.25 divided by 3) against 500 MN we already have (1.5 BN divided by 3). So, we need additional 250 MN every month (750 MN – 500 MN). Here’s a little chart (you can make your goal sheet too):

 

We further divide it into number of publisher partners we need to acquire the deficit – 10 publishers each with 25 MN capacity or 5 publishers with 50 MN each. Rest is up to us how we achieve it. In the next few weeks, we would track our progress to know where we stand and adjust things accordingly.

This makes objectives easy to realize. And it pretty much applies to everything we want to do in our lives:

“I want to lose weight.”

“I want to save more money.”

“I want to finish this book.”

If you want to lose weight, measure what you weigh now and set a target weight you want to achieve, say you’d like to cut it by 9 kg. Then decide on a time frame, 3 months? So, 3 kg every month. Now, go on to decide how many meals you need to take every day and nutrient quantities (again numbers here) per meal. Track your progress in between to check if you’ve lost 1.5 kg by mid-week or 3 kg at the end of the first month. You’ll see a new version of yourself after 3 months.

Similarly, for saving more money, measure how much you want to save and put numbers in place. For saving 50,000 by the end of 2017, how much you have to save every day, every month. Start saving and keep track of your progress.

Finish the book you were thinking of reading for a while now? Count the pages and decide by when you want to finish reading it. 200 pages in 20 days? That’s 10 pages every day. Then depending on your reading speed, how many hours you have to put per day to finish 10 pages, 2 hours? There you go.

You can use the same process over and over again to plan and achieve the things you want.

This post was pending due my first anniversary at Exponential. But, there could be no better time than now to publish it to show my respect and gratitude for Chandra. He has been a great mentor and friend to me – and will always remain to be so.

Chandra used to ask me to write something related to ad tech every now and then. I haven’t written any new blog post in the past one year. I am writing one now, because of him. May be this is my parting gift to him.

Chandra resigned few days back and today is his last day at work. During work transition, I had few doubts and whenever I used to ask him or wanted to discuss something, “Boss, what about this?”, he always corrected me with a smile, “Ex-Boss.”

You’ll always be the BOSS, Chandra.

P.S.: Enuf said. If Chandra is reading this, he’ll get the reference.

Are you lost?

Did you ever think or feel like you’re lost? Like you don’t know what to do next, where to go to, where to head now or what next you should be doing with your life, career, debts or relationship.

You are in the middle of this crowd, everything around is blurred to you, you can’t think straight, you’re getting random mixed thoughts about everything else but not of that one thing which is the cause for your worry, you have this fear inside of you of being lost (or mostly of failure) and it seems like everything around you is falling apart or will fall apart.

Yes, right. Welcome to the lost zone. I have been there too – couple of times.

Whenever I had that moment I used to think what’s happening, is it going to be like this forever?
But, I noticed every time, just after 10-15 mins, that it would go. It just passes away.

Now a days, whenever if anything bad happens or something worries me or I feel like lost, I know it will pass away. Nothing is forever. Right? It’s just a matter of time.

And, if you compare your situation before and after you were in that lost zone, you’ll find that:

• you are more rational than before, 
• you know what you want,
• what you need to do, 
• you know that one thing that you now have to focus on. 

Getting lost is good, I guess. It’s a way of finding and knowing things we really didn’t know or we thought we didn’t know - but most of the time, those things which were right in front of us the whole time but we could not see.

Ever seen a traveller saying he is lost? Actually, he is not lost. He is just on his way to find a direction (may be a new one). A new arrow sign saying yes, that’s where you should head.

That’s what life is about. Getting lost and finding a direction (not on purpose). So, the next time you think or feel like lost or really get lost, remember this:

We are never lost. We are only on our way to find a new direction. And sometimes
in life, it’s good to be lost. :)

Multi-tasking is a lie

Multi-tasking is a lie. At least in case of humans, it is. We have been fooled into believing that we can multitask and we should be doing so. Big advertisements and banners advocate this aloud. 1.5 Ghz Dual core, 4GB RAM, blah, blah and blah.

The false promise

Companies invest heavily in the idea of multi-tasking so that they could sell whatever they want and customers fall into vicious cycle of the need to buy more luxurious cars, secure devices, faster smartphones and what not – even if they don’t need it!

But who really even cares! They sell so that they could benefit and we buy because we can afford. That’s it. Instead of worrying about if we would really use the product, we measure whether buying that is within our financial reach or not. Usability of products has been replaced by affordability and one’s social status. And buying habits are now driven by the parameters to fit into the society.

Well, that’s how business and marketing is done in this world. And we will continue to consume in the same way until we pause and reflect.

Back to multi-tasking

If you are wondering how multi-tasking an illusion in case of humans is, you have to understand what multi-tasking really is and how it differs.

Simply put, it is the ability to execute more than one task at the same time. A/c to Wikipedia, “In computing, multitasking is a method where multiple tasks (known as processes) are performed during the same period of time, i.e. simultaneously.”

The system quickly switches between each computing task to give the impression the different applications are executing multiple actions simultaneously. [source]

The computer can have multiple CPU or cores to handle a number of tasks at a time. Therefore, computers have multi processors capable of doing many jobs at one time. But, note that even the computer processes one thing at a time by switching over from one task to another over a period of time to complete the requests made by the users.

Multitasking does scheduling of tasks as to which task will be the one running at any given time, and when another waiting task gets a turn and this is achieved by using a concept of threading.

Say you are working in MS Word, doing web browsing and listening to music, all that at the same time while eating mouth-watering Chocolate Cupcake. The CPU handles these processes in time slots with each application accessing a separate processor core simultaneously.

So, if two tasks are handled at the same moment, then it is by two different cores or processors. In case of single core/processor only one task runs at any point in time and the CPU is actively executing instructions for that task, having done the scheduling of a number of tasks to be performed after another. So in one second it is executing an MS Word instruction and in the next, it executes the processes to handle web browser instructions. Therefore, in real sense we are actually doing only one task at a time (handled by multi-processors).

Multi-tasking in humans

However, multi-tasking in humans is different from that of computers. Instead of an impression of doing multiple jobs at the same time, we, humans can only fast switch between jobs with our attention. We don’t have multi processors to handle a number of processes having access to each different processor to execute different processes.

Let me clear this with an example. Suppose you are reading something, listening to music, and checking your facebook notification on your phone all at the same time. Another common example that we all usually do can be taking phone calls while typing an email (or doing something else) or driving and listening to music or washing dishes and talking.

We think we are multi-tasking. But, if we really think over it for a second we are not actually multitasking. We are only doing one task at a moment (uni-tasking). To clear this out, let’s take the above mentioned situation. When you are reading a book for, say, 1 minute, all your focus is on the text; not on anything else. And during that time music also kept playing in your earphones but your focus was only on the text of the book, not on the music. When you listened to music, you aren’t reading (focusing) on the text anymore. That’s switching happening there, not processing (doing) two tasks at the same time. It’s a very minute and subtle process that we barely notice. Happens in microseconds.

And didn’t you ever notice when you were talking on the phone while doing something else at the same time that you only listened to what the other person was saying in chunks – not the whole conversation? That’s because your mind was processing something else at moments. Your attention was sought by that other thing you were doing. And whenever you switched your attention back to the voice on the phone line you processed what the other person was saying.

Conclusion

Needless to say, our mind can only do (process) one thing at a time. Think of it as working in time slots. In human context, there is no such thing as multitasking at a given moment - it can only be realized for a span of time. So, you might say we multi-tasked for a period of time but in real sense we focused only on one thing given at one time.

At last, multitasking in humans can result in time wasted due to human context switching causing more errors due to insufficient attention. So…

Apparently, we are practicing distraction in multitasking. We switch back and forth between things with our attention. And the more we multi task the less efficient we will be.

Truth Revealed

Editor's Note: This is a guest post by my friend Siddharth Bansal.

What is "Truth"? Is it a misconception? In a way, it is! But, does it rise to a more subtle and psychological level or does it represent just a plethora of facts?

No. The "truth" does not comprise of facts alone. It is an attribute, an ability and most importantly a concept waiting to be understood. It is "acceptance". The moment we accept something, it becomes the truth to us. 

To explain things in a better way let's consider this example: When Charles Darwin first came up with his evolutionary theory he was almost put to death for the crime he never committed which was blasphemy (devil's worship). It was totally absurd for people to react so aggressively. But in the end it all came down to acceptance. And it always has been like this. Disagree? Pick any case, you'll find out. What you accept, becomes the truth for you.

The Resemblance

Anger is an outcome of lack of patience, which makes it a derived entity - not an independent one. Same is the case with truth. It is highly dependent, varying and an outcome of acceptance. What is true to me now may be the biggest lie of my life in near future. Truth is like time, shifting and moving as you and I breathe. While we all breathe.

Truth is the biggest lie.

So, deceivingly, truth is a misconception of the highest order. Truth is a lie well accepted. And, do not be confused between facts and the truth. Osama bin laden has been behind many mass murders, this is a fact but considering him a terrorist is again a matter of truth and acceptance. 

The truth tends to weaken us, it veils our vision. In our quest to find the truth what we actually seek is solace and term it as truth. It corrupts us. It is addicting to a point of no return.

The Application.

Magicians use this weakness of ours as their biggest weapon, they are the masters of a very specific kind of art. The art of playing with our ability to accept things. We see what they want us to see, we accept what they want us to accept which eventually turns into PoooFFF!!! Magic. The real meaning gets lost somewhere far behind amidst religions and superstitions. It all started there.

Now, do you think you accept the things I just told you? What would you say if I tell you that what I just told you, was the truth? Would you believe that?

Rise and reason because, "The truth is the biggest lie waiting to be accepted." Isn't it?

It's Time

It’s 6:39 in the evening.

 

1. In case you are out, go home. Get fresh.
2. Have a cup of coffee or tea or whatever you like to have.
3. Open the door and go out in the balcony. Lean over the grill with the support of your elbow while holding that cup with both your hands.
4. Is the weather amazing? Great! Look up. Look around. Witness the world. Take in the surroundings.
5. Be thankful to what Mother Nature holds for you. The clear blue sky. Light orange color of the dusk gradually scattering all over above you. Take it all in.
6. And hold the cup easy; as it is a part of you. Feel the warmth. Let it flow inside out. Feel it. Don’t rush. Let the world as it is. Still. Things won’t go far.
7. Let your thoughts flow freely. Notice where your mind and heart takes you and enjoy the moment. Feel the joy. Embrace it.
8. Listen to smooth steady music. Be free from all the noise (for a few minutes though). But, it’s okay. You deserve a break. You need it – some quite time for yourself.
9. Go on. Assign a time slot for yourself. For you alone – just you and your thoughts. And enjoy that moment. Every single day, for the rest of your life.

Image on Flickr

Harmonious Independence | Guest Post from Colin Wright

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post by Colin Wright of Exile Lifestyle.

It’s said that if you want a relationship to succeed — to last — you have to make sacrifices.

I strongly disagree.

It’s important to bend when dealing with other people on any level, sure, but that doesn’t mean you should break. If you have to give up what’s important to you in order to be with someone else, it’s very possible you’re with the wrong person. This applies to business relationships, friendships, and more-than-friendships equally. Why on earth would you want to give up what makes you, you, in order to be with someone? And why would you want anyone else to do the same?

There’s a phrase I use to describe what I look for in relationships: harmonious independence. It means that you are you, with or without anyone else. You are complete.

At the same time, your independent spirit plays well with others. You don’t expect anyone else to give up what makes them happy in order to be in your life, nor would you want them to expect it of you. Instead, you support each other in all things. Their personality traits, goals, idiosyncrasies, and other relationships are the reason you want them in your life.

Each of you being whole, independent people is what makes the relationship worthwhile in the first place. You have your own lives, but you meet in the middle because you want to. Your completeness supports their completeness and allows you to become an even better version of yourself in the exchange. As a result, you can be tied as loosely or closely as makes sense for your situation — in either case, you contribute to each other’s lives in a positive way.

"A relationship worth having does not require you to be anyone 
but the best possible version of yourself."

---

Colin Wright is an author, entrepreneur, and full-time traveler and his readers decide where he will go next every 4 months. Know more about Colin here.

MSSN

Simplicity and Minimalism. It means keeping what’s important and removing the rest. I truly believe in this and follow people like Joshua Becker, Leo Babauta, Courtney Carver who also write about the same.

Recently I launched an MSSN (short for Minimal & Simplified Social Networking) Clean-Up mission in which I removed 100+ friends from my facebook account. I unfriended people:

• who were inactive for most of these years
• who were not that important
• whose presence didn't matter much
• whose updates I didn't necessarily need to know
• who sent me virtual invitations
• who shared crap
• whom I didn't actually liked/loved
• who were not creative
• who were not productive
• who were not making an impact on my life

Really. What would I do by knowing what the hell others are doing with their lives – what they are eating, where they are at, check their ridiculous photos (which I won’t personally like from heart so I won’t be able to honestly appreciate it) and that too especially from those who didn't matter much? Instead why not focus on my own life and try making the best of it? Makes sense, sounds considerable and seems the right thing to do. Isn't it?

But you may ask what its benefits are. These are the few advantages of MSSN:

• Mindful Space: After I accomplished my mission, I found more mindful space across my social network – surrounded by more like-minded, creative, energetic, curious people. And my decision didn't bother those I deleted at the first place. They either never got to know or even if they did, they didn't mind/care and never messaged me back asking why.
• More Time: Earlier I used to devote waste my time on updates from people I cared less about, who didn't add much into how I am, what I am, what I can learn and what I can become. Now, I have more time for the things I love to do for the unnecessary stream of information is gone. I have more time to invest on myself and spend with my loved ones. I saved more than half an hour each day!
• Peace of Mind: Now I can care less about stuff that I don’t need or want to see in my news feed that could distract me from my goals and affect my life in any manner (mentally or emotionally).
• Increased Productivity: I can redirect more of my extra time, energy and resources (freed from those who were stealing it gradually) to something real and good. All this has indeed contributed to my productivity, even if a little.
• Abundant Energy: Things that are not necessary consume a lot of your energy. And they sucked mine too. With energy, money is complemented. I had to pay electricity bill, internet bill for checking things which didn't matter or which I didn't want! That might be a minute loss if considered comparatively. Still, money saved is money earned.
• Meaningful Relationships: I strictly do not add people I don’t know outside facebook however in few cases exceptions are made. Obviously there is a fixed place for family members, friends and co-workers. But, at the end of the day it’s about making genuine connections – honest ones. It’s about keeping what is important, what is necessary. And wiping out the rest.

I am not completely anti with the huge presence of social networks on the internet today. In fact, apart from spoiling your time and sucking your valuable energy and resources, social networking sites are still great tools to be in touch with each other – your relatives, friends, co-workers. They can be a platform where you or your business can grow, if you let them.

And am sure few of you reading this must have already cleaned up your list, some thought of it and many never did. It’s time.

Shadows

We live under the shadows. Because it’s cozy there. We can lie lazy there for hours and procrastinate work (doesn't matter personal or professional, important or insignificant, big or small) most of time. We put things off for the later, reschedule agendas and push to-dos ahead in the calendar that we should be attending or doing right now.

Shadows keep you away from achieving what you have always dreamed of, what’s in your to-do list, what you can become, what you can serve and the change you deserve. We read a lot of help books. We search for how-tos. We say we have put our efforts. But we know that’s not enough.

"Easy never lead to an easy and happy life. Difficulties do."

And it’s not that we are afraid to work - sometimes we are only afraid to take the first step. For we fear. We fear what would happen (what lies in the future). We fear failure and from all that comes worries. A lot of worries. And then Bang! We put all that our mind, hands, legs and muscles have created up till this moment in a nearby black trash bin.  Next second, we again lay there in a 36 x 75 well cushioned – fascinating about a brighter, more successful and happier life.

But the real thing has always been outside the shadows. It’s under the Sun – where you move, sweat and work. When you mind-boggle a lot, generate ideas and work upon them. That’s where the light is. You just got to move your ass out of your comfort zone to get things done, to achieve the biggest and become the happiest. There is no other way to it.

Image: Rajiv Kumar Solanki/Follow him on Flickr!

With Power Comes Responsibilities

You know why I love to watch children play? Because, they only know innocence, happiness and fun. When I look at them and think how young they are, how innocent they are - they don’t know what is happening out there and they don’t even care. And that care-free mind-set I envy the most about them. They can do whatever they want without caring about submitting assignments, completing projects, getting a job, next-minute meetings, meeting deadlines, buying a house and paying bills, sabotaged relationships, health issues and everything else that is in this world.

Summer break has arrived with the completion of third year of my graduation (one more to go) and temperature here exceeds bearing level – 43 °C. Guess it’s time to head home now.

Before leaving, I was spending an evening sitting in my Hostel Veranda, watching small children of slum workers play. They had a poorly ragged, small baby carriage; riding it one by one. After 15 minutes of running, riding, playing and expending energy they eventually became thirsty. And fortunately, there was a gardener nearby watering the plants with a pipe. To no surprise, they ran to quench their thirst and the gardener helped them in having enough drinking water.

The minute children were finished drinking, the gardener didn't stop there. He had a little fun instead – he splashed water on the ground near their feet that got sprinkled back on them and then played with the kids with water. Who doesn't love playing with water in a scorching heat and that too when we are talking about children!

Undoubtedly, the kids enjoyed it too. They sure had fun. There were smiles on everybody’s faces – on the gardener, the three kids and mine. An ecstasy. :)

By now, you may ask why I am telling you this. For, I learnt something that day. What did I learn? I learned that when you have power of something, you can use it to help others beside your prime responsibilities that come with that power. It can be power of anything. Can be power of money, power of politics, power of authority, physical power, power to extend emotional strength, power to simplify someone’s life or power to quench someone’s thirst.

In this case the gardener had a power; power of access to water and his prime responsibility was to water the plants. But he also used it to help others (quench little ones’ thirst). At the same time he found a way to had fun, though for a very short period of time in this so big busy world. And I see no harm in it. :)

So, the next time you possess a power, doesn't matter which power, just a power of anything, even for a little time, use it to help others beside the prime responsibilities you have because of that power. And what’s magical about your powers without moments of enjoyment and fun! Add fun around with your powers if you can (there’s no harm in having a little fun). And with it, create moments of happiness that bring smiles on faces – no matter what the age is !  :)

Well Done Is Better Than Well Read | Actions Matters The Most

I love reading what Chris sends to me over mail. He writes about productivity, motivation, success, being brave, willpower, habits, decision making, social media marketing, digital business and a lot more. He has a way of telling impactful stories full of insights and experiences. And whatever he says, you will always find it helpful in some way or the other.

One thing to notice in his mails/blog posts is that they are very personal. In one of his recent newsletters on “action” he wrote, “I have the supreme pleasure and delight of watching people learn. More accurately, I watch how people respond to learning. But what I’m most excited about when observing everyone is the difference between readers and do-ers.”

"Transformation Comes From Action"

“You and I can read all we want. We can “collect ideas” all we want. Until we give it a go, we won’t know how it “really” works.”

He gave it a try and did his first ever HIIT workout (High Intensity Interval Training) – “For instance, I’d read about it for a while, and it sounded ouchy. Do something really intensely for 30 seconds, for instance, and then rest 1 minute. Repeat for about 30 minutes. From all I read about it, I worried that I couldn’t do it.”

“When I gave it a shot, I learned rather quickly how it works. I can explain to you what I learned, but until you try it, you’ll have knowledge but not experience.”

In his experience, information is not enough. Information with references or extra resources helps more in comprehending the matter. Whereas, actionable information has the most impact on our thought process which asks to take action instead of just reading and thinking.

Well, it’s simple and makes sense. What if I read about something that I want to do; say, learn cooking and I don’t take any action on it? What if I don’t practice what I have read - go to the kitchen and make a food item or two? Only reading and thinking of cooking a great recipe won’t make me learn cooking in real.

To my experience as well, to understand things in a better way, we need to put our knowledge to work. And by taking action we have a deeper understanding of how things work. Eventually, if you really want to learn something, action becomes more important than just reading. You have to step out of your comfort zone and act, if you really want to achieve what you desire.

No doubt, reading teaches us a lot. It gives us the knowledge. But it doesn’t give you the insights of self-explored experimental learning process. It is only by doing that you will learn the real thing and gain valuable experience. For that, you got to not just read and think but also beat procrastination, clear distractions and start doing. Today.

So, when you are finished reading this post, go take action and do whatever you want to learn to do!

---

Chris Brogan is CEO and president of Human Business Works. Chris aims at helping professionals work better, do the work they want, and to be brave while building a strong, sustainable, relationship-minded business. He helps businesses grow and believes in delivering great value to his customers/clients. He is also a consultant and frequent keynote speaker. His clients include Google, Microsoft, Dell, Sony, Panasonic, GM, Coca-Cola, Pepsico and many more. Besides that, Chris is the New York Times bestselling author of The Impact Equation and Trust Agents. Read more about Chris here.

Everything Has A Center | Goodwill Theory

One of the things which I am not ashamed of accepting is that I am not much fond of studying or attend classes either. Reason: they are boring. If they are made more interactive and participative, that would somehow interest me. But, that's another thing.

What I am writing here is just about an another day in college. Third lecture was Antenna & Radar Engineering (ARE) - which surprisingly I liked over the rest and that too probably because of our professor. He makes the class interactive and studying fun while emphasizing more on the learning approach of teaching. And that day, we were to study dipole antenna. The professor drew an antenna electromagnetic field region on the white board. It looked something like this:

Dipole Antenna EM Field Regions

When he was done drawing the diagram, he said pointing at the middle of the circle, "This is the center." To be honest, I wasn't paying enough attention to what he was saying but that phrase struck me - I stopped for a moment, gave it a second and thought over it. I thought it wasn't just that field region drawn there that has a center.

For the next few days, I was thinking: how come only a circle has a center. Thinking in the classroom, while surfing, while eating, while walking... and I kept thinking about it all the time. And, I came to conclude that not only a circle, but other arguable geometrical shapes also have a center. For examples:

• A Circle: Has a center.
• Straight Line: The midpoint of a straight line is its center.
• An Arrow: Center towards where its head is directed.
• Triangle: Centroid, Incenter and Orthocenter are different centers of a triangle.
• Different Line Segments: Any random line can be differentiated at different points of time and in each case the segments represent basic geometrical shapes having their own centers.
• Random Shapes: Take any random shape. Take differential lengths. At each curve, each length can be seen as a geometrical segment and has a center of its own. For example, a serpentine line. It will have semi-circles with centers followed by straight lines having midpoints and then at last an arrow. Hence, at each point and segment there is a center.

Postulate #1: At any point of time any considerable object has a center.

However, that's not just it. This can be fairly extended to other phenomena of the universe as well, be it the nearest or the farthest, the smallest or the largest, living or non-living:

• An Atom: Has nucleus as its center, a very dense region consisting of protons and neutrons at the center of an atom.
• Physical Forces: Forces like centripetal and centrifugal force has a center around a curvature.
• Gravitational Pull: Masses are pulled by the Gravitational Force towards the center of gravity.
• The Earth: The inner core of the earth is approximately 1,220 km (760 mi) from the surface and primarily consists of iron-nickel alloy, temperature nearly comparable to the Sun - 5430 °C!
• Any Quantifiable Mass: Every object has a center of mass.
• Solar System: Our own solar system also has a center - The Sun.
• Galaxies: The Galactic Center is the rotational center of the Milky Way galaxy, located at a distance of ~27,000 ± 1,000 light-years from the Earth! The existence of a supermassive black hole at the Galactic Center of the Milky Way is strongly believed.
• Love: We all experience love. And in this case, the center is the person we love - our loved ones. The whole emotional and psychological behavior shifts towards this center.
• And Whatever You Are Doing: Yes! Whatever you do, you always have a center and that depends on your focus - where you are focusing at that moment. The center would be then, the thing/work you are focusing on. Even if you redefine your goals or change decisions or take different paths in life, you will always have a center. What is yours at this moment?

Postulate #2: Everything has a center.

This theory is called Goodwill Theory ; named after the professor whom we were talking about - who made me think about the centers. Thus, based on these two postulates, Goodwill Theory states that : "At any point of time every considerable object or thing has a center."

Fear

We all fear something. We encounter something fearful everyday. And fear limits the way our lives are meant to be lived: fearfully.

How can one ask a farmer not to expect when he has worked too hard for the surplus? How can one ask a student not to hope for good grades if he has studied well all semester? How can one ask a investor not to expect decent return? With hope and expectations, comes fear. Fear is natural. It's inevitable.

"Fear is nothing but the product of thoughts we create."

Everybody has their own version of fear and hence definition of fear differs with demographics. A seven year old may fear spiders, a 18 year old teen may have a stage fear or an adult working in an MNC may have fear of career failure.

Out of all, these are the most profound fears we have:

• Fear of failure
• Fear of losing someone or something
• Fear of not-being-good-enough
• Fear of rejection
• Fear of missing out (FOMO)
• Fear of what lies in the future
• Fear of uncertainity

But, you have total control over your mind and thoughts. Nobody else other than you define the things you fear. Your fears have the power to hold you back from doing what you love, what matters most to you, what is important to you, what you desire to do, what you have been putting off for days, weeks or even years. It eventually stops you from living and enjoying your life to the optimum as you should be by stealing your peace and happiness.

Whatever your fear may be, you can either authorize these self-created-fears-of-yours stop you from living your life to the fullest or you can take on them one by one and live a more bold and braver life cherishing every moment. I recommend going with the latter one.

What should you do?

• Be strong: You have to be strong. It is a must. There is no other way to this. There cannot be a should. You have to say to yourself repeatedly all day long out loud, "I can do this. I must do it. I will not fear you." I do this all the time and vouch for this as it is extremely helpful in any situation you can imagine of. Trust me.
• Make a list of the things you fear: I made my own and named it as "Black Chart". Start with the small things you fear like spider or heights or darkness and then step down to the big ones. Highlight the important fears which you think need the most of your efforts to be put upon.
• Face them - one at a time: Take on the fears from your things-you-fear list one by one. Start with small fears. Work on them. Analyze why you have that fear. Ask yourself if you really need to be afraid of it. Is that thing a necessity for your happy living? Mostly the answer will be a negative. For example, if you have fear you might miss out on important notifications or news feed if you don't log in to your facebook account try asking yourself if you really need to check shitty updates from people whom you don't know or people who don't care about you. Does it really matter what are they doing with their lives? Instead why not focus on your life and try making the best of it. You yourself create and decide your life priorities, goals and needs. You can make or break any of it any second. It's all up in the mind. Move on to next step if the answer is otherwise.
• Suppress them and move on: This is the "action" step. If you don't execute this, you will always fear your fears. Once identified try to fight your fears. Suppress them. Simply say, "I will not fear you!" For the above case, you can limit your logins into facebook. Say no to shitty updates and unnecessary distractions for a more fearless and happier life. You will not die. I didn't. In fact I reduced my social networking footprints and am still alive, writing this post! And to be very frank, you have no reason to be afraid of anything. You can also seek help from your family members, friends, peers or even me!
• Do things you have been putting off til now: Time to do things you have been not doing because of the fears you had. Fears that have been holding you back.
• Shatter every boundary: You know no limits. No boundaries. It's just you and your fears. No one in between. And in the end it will only be you living a more braver and happier life.
• Claim things which are rightfully yours: Haven't got what you deserved? What you thought should be yours? Success, Love, Fame, Money, Happiness. You name it. And your fears always stopped you? Huh! Kick them out.
• Achieve the goals you have been setting offside: Had a long list to-dos which you haven't struck out? Wanted to start a learning class? But didn't do because you feared that you won't get enough admissions. Wanted to pass an interview? But feared rejection. It is time now.
• Make your dreams come true which you have been wishing for: Don't just dream. Get out and make them come true. You have nothing to fear about.

Go, grab things. Especially those you fear the most in the first place. Think how wonderful your life would be if you didn't fear what you do. Once you overcome one of your fears, you will be more confident than before in everything that you do afterwards. You will start to feel this energy of accomplishment; the energy you get after overcoming an obstacle. Cherish that feeling. Hold it for it will compel you to achieve the unachievable. And go for the next in the-things-you-fear list.

Let me know what you fear and how you overcame it.

Bhartiye Television Ke Prabhav...

I don’t know why most of the themes of my posts/stories generate either while I’m on a journey or in the bathroom; though I am not very fond of the later one. This one struck when I recalled, from my deep memories, a phone call made to my Ma: She was watching some soap on TV and paid little attention to my voice. I swear I thought of breaking that screen right away.

Apart from a deep dive into my memories, if we are to believe a few surveys available over the net, South Asians spend an average of 23 to 28 hours a week staring the 60 years aged Idiot Box. Approximately 60 percent of all Indian households own a television; over 550 channels are available in the country out of which about 155 are pay channels.

Not to mention the genres this box enfold: the reality shows, dramas especially Sans-Bahu ones, news from all the corners, sports related and a lot of shows. Ewff… the list is stretched, rather not type here. But, can anyone tell me that apart from entertaining us what else does it serve? Does it showcase anything that add to one’s personality? Does it offer some practical guidance? Are those stuffs anyhow useful to its viewers?

Unfortunately, the answer is a big NO! The Indian TV shows today have a lot of negativity and undue explicit content even in the prime time slot. The biggest markets for these Indian TV channels are the housewives who have a good amount of free time on their hands. Be aware uninformed husbands! Anyways, these serials affect many parts of the society, directly or indirectly in many ways by disrupting the positivity in a household as our indigenous housewives watch the negativity for the whole day. Also, it brings inhuman and unhealthy ideas in the minds of all the audience members as more interest is being taken in watching these serials instead of doing one's own duties.

Movie Masalas seem to be of no use, just another time pass. Producers cry for sake of the society and proclaim that they try to reduce the anti-social elements and influence people through their air-transmits. But the picture is not always the same as it suggests. Sans bahu’s kichdis and ladaiyan broadcast how ladies fight over nonsense issues and have a twist every weekend in the midst of parallel blaming games taking place continuously and uninterruptedly. Aur sabse maje ki baat to ye hai ki har dusre din ek naya beta paida ho jata hai (funny thing is that every other day, a new baby is born)! The vicious plots and plans that the negative characters and the negativity of the various misunderstanding-filled situations is so much that it knowingly or unknowingly creeps into the mind of the people who frequently watch these serials. Individuals can create a parasocial or faux relationship with characters from their favorite television shows as a way of deflecting feelings of loneliness and social deprivation. For that reason, I am not able to see the advantage of these serials at all. So, just tell me what I’ll do by taking into account the how-and-why-abouts behind a virtual relationship?

Given that we all know the fixtures, inside stories and the marketing strategies employed to increase the TRP, a few reality shows are better than the rest who really search talents and give them a platform. While taking about the stunt shows similar to Roadies and Fear Factor India, nothing a person can gain by watching the stunts and abuses. Swayamvars, Big Boss Seasons and many such shows join the same herd. Simultaneously taking about the news feeds, please someone make me understand why news channels don’t have better stories to share with the world instead of those horrible reports alike how he did that magic and how come a snake can fly! Is this of any value? I don't think so.

Perhaps, there are many educational advantages one may explore. Television can be a very powerful and effective learning tool for all if used wisely. It can be a source of guidance to the youths through Discovery Channel, NatGeo, FOX, Topper and other educational shows. It can teach the complex social aspects of communication as well. I think broadcasters should focus more on this area rather than on useless subjects. If they are willing to make available something constructive and helpful to the society rather than rubbish garbage via broadcast media, they must change their prospects, views and orientations and utilize the full potential of the IDIOT BOX.

I think my next post will be "Facebook k Prabhav..."